A Lil Bit O’ Cream With My Coffee Please

I’ve never dated outside of my race, but I’m not opposed to it. Personally, I’m more afraid of not being able to find white, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, ect., men who are willing to date outside of their race. I know very few black women who are dating white men. In media, black men are portrayed to date outside of their race more often than black women. I think the taboo associated with dating outside of our race has to do with racial stereotyping and more specifically the way black women are portrayed in the dating world.

As a black woman, I can reassure you that I am no more demanding, steadfast, or have crazier outburst than any woman out there. But because of the color of my skin I may just be a turn-off to most men. Before getting to know me, I’ve already been stamped with the “Crazy, Black, Bitch” logo. Then let’s talk about the way in which I speak. In grade school, I was told that I talk “white”. Once again, my proper English and exact pronunciation of words was deemed “white”. God forbid a black girl, was black and proper! So here, even being the “token” I never really seemed to be anyone’s eye candy, asides from the stereotypical lust glares at my booty.

Dating outside of your race is probably easier for a white male than it is for a black woman. It has everything to do with privilege. As the “superior race”, a white man can easily date outside of his race. Of course, he may get some heat from his family but socially, his pursuit of a colored girl would be less criticized. Now on the other hand, Sasha Fierce tried to court John Miracle Whip III. She’d probably be labeled a gold digger.

Another factor in interracial dating is class structure. Typically you see two people within the same class dating. It will be very race for your favorite whigger to be dating an Asian business woman.

I make a lot of jokes here, but in all seriousness, I think interracial dating is a beautiful thing that if presented with the opportunity I would definitely get some culture in my life.

However, I cannot go without noting that the black family/dating scene is going through a major change right now. We’ve inherited poor dating and communication skills and quite frankly, traditions that hinder us socially. The more positive relationships our youth are exposed to, despite sexual orientation or skin tone, the less the debate of interracial dating will arise. The real problem is forming healthy, lasting, relationships.

—GJ

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